This lesson has been the most challenging to write about so far this year. In part because simple issues in our restaurant are solved by watching a video and taking a five question test. As we develop our problems become less about what to do and more about how to do them. I'm in the middle of several things at the same time (including the solution) and I want my readers and leaders that I know to learn from my mistakes and watch what I'm doing so they can decide for themselves. Should I do what he suggest? Or should I go a different route?
I have a hearing loss that I've had from birth. From those who know me well, when my hearing aids aren't in, the struggle's real. It's hard to communicate when someone can't or won't hear what you're saying. My high school football coach was notorious for this phrase, "Two people I don't want on my team, those who can't and those who won't." I hope that at the end of reading this you can think differently about the way you listen.
Recently my team ask me to do something for them that involved speaking to another team member on behalf of the team. As that was decided I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as I thought to myself, 'This isn't going to be fun." My team was expecting me to pull a proverbial hare out of a hat and I could feel the pressure mounting. I knew if I wanted the meeting to be successful it was imperative that I prepare adequately before beginning. I gathered information from multiple sources prior to having this crucial conversation. I've written about crucial conversations here. There's several lessons learned along the way and I wanted to share them with you, but first let's look at the root of the problem:
We have performance issues that stem from a lack of encouragement and engagement.
As I read those words I think about how hard my team and I strive to make those things nonexistent. It's a challenge that I'm personally walking thru and I know my team spends time thinking about. How do I know this is the case? Take a look at the list of questions and statements below and see if you have asked or said a version of these as some point in your leadership journey.
"Why is he acting like that?"
"Why does she always do that?"
"What are they thinking?"
"I've tried to discuss it with them before, but they just shut down."
"Jabo Greezy is doing it again, do they not know how to do it the right way?"
"Shag McNasty just got back from training, how could he still be bad at it?"
I think the message is becoming more and more clear. A lack of engagement and encouragement can mean disastrous things for you and your business. For you and your family, your goals, and your future.
As I sat down to talk with one of our team members I knew that I had to do one thing really well: Listen.
Listen to what's being said. Listen to what's not being said. Listen to what the body language tells you. Listen to what the body language doesn't tell you. Inflection. Tone. Intonation. Posture. Pauses in conversation. Eye movement. A collective assessment of these factors can lead to a wise conclusion.
I did what I just described to you over the course of about 45 minutes with a one on one with a team member. The results were like I said,
The performance issues were based on a lack of encouragement and engagement.
If you find yourself at a cross road of poor results and strained relationships, start by listening well and making deposits into your team's emotional bank account with encouragement.
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